After the unpleasantness of my previous review I cheered myself up with a cult classic. The warriors is a prime example of a cult film, in so much that it essentially rubbish, but fun all the same.
As the opening credits roll, we see several groups of people congregating in a park (we also get some weird 70's psychedelic music, top stuff.) where the leader of New York's largest gang, Cyrus (Roger Hill) of the Gramercy Riffs, has assembled all of the city's gangs (inviting nine representatives from each) to a summit.
Cyrus has worked out that the gangs of New York (not the film) outnumber the the police of the city 3 to 1 and proposes that the gangs unite in order to run the city (Can you dig it? Suckers!) The majority of the gangs think this is a fantastic idea, but Luther (David Patrick Kelly, also the bad guy in 'The Crow') doesn't agree and shoots Cyrus in the chest. Cue a major ruckus, police turn up, everyone scrambles and Luther (in his wisdom) lays the blame squarely on the shoulders of a gang all the way from Coney Island, The Warriors. One of the gang members, Fox (Thomas G Waites, not David Duchovney), upon realising that, literally (not figurative in the slightest) every gang member in the city is after them, instructs his charges (fellow warriors) to run away. They oblige.
While the guys are regrouping in a subway station (they spend a lot of time in various train stations) the second in command of the Riffs, places a bounty on the warriors heads. And an (ethnic) woman (Lynne Thigpen, I wouldn't normally mention the real name of such a minor character but she makes the film the classic that it is), announces this coolly over the radio.
At the start of their journey back on the first (of many) trains, Ajax (James Remar) voices his desire to be warlord, but Swan (Michael Beck) successfully shoots him down, to become the alpha of the group. They slowly begin to weave their way through the streets and head towards home, narrowly avoiding the the police and a few minor gangs in converted school buses.
The first major (by which, I mean minor) obstacle the Warriors come up against is a small gang of scruffy youths, called the Orphans.These guys (and I'm trying my best to make them look good here) are awful, the Warriors ignore their threats and chuck a Molotov bomb at a nearby burnt out car. Orphans scatter and the Warriors amble on through. Lovely stuff. The warriors also manage to pick up a passenger in the form of Mercy (Deborah Van Valkenburgh), a (somewhat) slutty former member (and antagonist) of the Orphans.
Now, what should you not do at any point, in a situation, in any film? That's right, you should never split up (give yourself a pat on the back). And what they do? Yes they split up. But in their defense, they don't mean to. They are just not team players. Half the gang (including Mercy, I think) make it onto the next train (apart from Fox who gets run over), Swan and the other half are instead faced with some baseball players in heavy make up (cue, some 70's style fist fights). The warriors win, but not until some gang member get quite seriously winded (oh dear).
Mercy and her half of the gang, arrive at the station and instead of waiting around for the rest of the team to catch up the boys follow some girls back for drinks and, well, you know (sex). Every few minutes there is a radio update from the radio woman, and unfortunately she updates the Warriors progress while they are busy necking (kissing the necks of) their new girlfriends. Oh no, it was a trap. The girls are armed and dangerous a cut the boys up a bit. Meanwhile, the affable (well, not really. I just like alliteration) Ajax spots a woman alone in the park, and instead of continuing on his way home, stops. As he chats her up, he gets a bit hands on and finds himself arrested (undercover cop you see). That's the end of his film.
The group (minus Ajax and Fox) regroup and led (for some reason) by Mercy, they beat up some punks in a toilet. They then board the final train home and exhale with relief. Mercy then lets Swan and the other guys know about Fox (splat) and they tell her about Ajax (sex pest). They return to Coney Island at day break.
While all this has been going on Luther has been identified as the real gunman at the summit and the Warriors have been cleared. but before the Warriors can make it to safety they find the Rogues (Luther's gang, should have mentioned that earlier) waiting for them. The two gangs meet on the beach and have a classic (western-style) stand off. Luther then openly admits he killed Cyrus and has a bit of a giggle before pulling a shooter (his gun). Unfazed, Swan throws a knife into Luther's wrist, disarming him. Nice. Hundreds of Riffs (Cyrus's gang) then appear. Apologise to the Warriors for any inconvenience and take away those rotten Rouges. The DJ then informs the rest of the city of the events and plays a song for the Warriors. End of Film.
Boys will love it, girls will hate it, hermaphrodites have bigger issues to worry about. Thanks.
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