Soylent Green (1973)

Greetings, this blog is not going to be anything special, just a means of which to waste time. I will simply be reviewing films and television that I have recently watched. There will be spoilers, you have been warned.

Since moving to Lincoln and finding myself in a house of geeky young men (and one angry, angry young lady) I have found myself exposed to a lot of Star Trek (especially Deep Space 9) and Sci-Fi novels (Asimov's fantastic Foundation series). I can tell that you are already gripped by the subject matter, but wait, it gets better. I have decided to work my way through some classic Sci-Fi, Horror and generally neglected films and imbue you with knowledge of them. This first offering is one of my favourites, Charlton Heston's Soylent Green.

For anyone that doesn't know the premise of the film, you are in for a treat and a shocking ending (lessened by my omission of its shock factor, sorry). The year is 2022 (although it may as well be anything 50 or more years into the future from 1973, just enough time for society to collapse into a horrible dystopian future.) and the earth is moribund (dead or dying, you decide!). It also happens to be overcrowded, although only on stairwells and in churches. There is enough room to swing a cat (or even a tiger, not that you'd want to) everywhere else. Ty Thorn (Charlton Heston) is a future cop, in future New York, with a suitably futuristic name. He lives in what appears to be a high rise shack with an old Jew. Hysterical, you think. No. The old Jew, Solomon 'Sol' Roth (Edward G Robinson) Just moans about everything you could imagine (it's the 70's, stereotypes are fine). One of his major gripes is also the driving force behind the films narrative (convenient), food.

As we have already touched on the Earth is dying (or dead) and there are far too many people shuffling about. As a result of this poor planning (because that is what it boils down to) there is no food (except for the ultra rich). "But what do they eat?" You implore. Patience, I'm getting to that. Through the wonders (blunders? There may be a message here) of science, food can be synthesised out of plankton and other rubbish like, I don't know, plastic bottles. The food is called Soylent Red and Soylent Yellow (I know the film is called Soylent Green, I'm getting to that), but the food is gritty and tasteless. The masses manage to muster up enough energy, despite their lack of shelter and sustenance to complain about this awful, awful food. Miraculously, there is a new Soylent on the market that is a taste bonanza, and the dregs cannot get enough of it. It's name (you've guessed it) Solent Green!

Ty Thorn, future cop, finds himself investigating a suspicious murder at a fancy residence in the fancy part of town. The deceased (dead guy) was a member of the Soylent board of directors. After stealing his food (he had real food), his soap (real soap), having sex with his furniture (this sounds odd, but in the future all of the super rich have live in sex workers known as furniture. Sorry I know that this is not as fun) and taking a shower (he had hot water too!) Ty stumbles upon (well not really, he sees them on a shelf) a couple of books titled, Soylent Oceanographic Survey Report, 2015 to 2019, his heart palpitating and his trousers moistening with child like excitement (lord knows why) he rushes the books back to 'Sol' (reading books seems to be his job).

Next 'Sol' Seems to get very excited, him and Ty have some sort of menage et trois with the food Ty stole from that corpse that I mentioned earlier and then Ty goes to work (his boss is black, how futuristic is that?!). His black boss warns him off the Soylent case, because it could lead him down some dark alleys, but Ty being the loose canon that he is ignores this less than friendly warning.

After that fantastic meal, 'Sol' decides that he has had enough and kills himself. He goes to a euthanasia clinic that looks suspiciously like and international airport and dies listening to music and watching deer and flowers of a giant screen (Imax?) whilst laying on a bed that looks like it has been constructed from Duplo. Ty catches up to him just in time to wave good bye and then for some reason (I suppose it's a hunch, but the film neglects to give us that information) hunts after 'Sol's corpse as it is hastily chucked in to what appears to be a rubbish truck and whisked to an out of town factory (complete with thousands of grey pipes!). this bit takes forever, go and make a cup of tea or something because once 'Sol' dies, you really are missing nothing. After running into, and then killing two guards (who for no good reason chose not to sound the alarm, probably just two cocky young men eager to prove their worth) he discovers the terrible secret behind Soylent Green.

At this point loads of other guards turn up and chase Ty into a (crowded) church, they have a classic 70's style fist fight (there are plenty in the movie) and Ty eventually edges it. As he is carried away all broken and bloodied he shoots an arm into the air and declares "Solent Green is people!" (or something to this effect, I'm not going to put the DVD on just to make sure I've gotten that line right.) Then the film ends in the oddest way possible (I won't ruin it for you, but lets just say there is a narrowing of the picture, a freeze framing and some interesting colour and music choices).

In summary, its a great film if you're into that sort of thing (plot holes, cheesy fight scenes and the fact that Charlton Heston doesn't even pretend to be in shape), otherwise ignore it.

Well that is it for my first rambling post. Any feedback welcome and if anyone has any idea what to get my mother for her 50th birthday, do let me know.