My Car's Unique Problem

"So what seems to be the problem with the car? It looks fine to me"

"It's got wasps."

That's right, my car has wasps, more than just an annoyance, it qualifies as a bain. I arrived home this weekend (from uni) and decided to take my mammy (English: Mummy. American: Mommy) to the shops. On the way a wasp appeared, we fidgeted a bit in our seats and got rid of it. Then a second appeared as we reached our destination. I opened the door to let it out, but instead it chose to seek residence in the door cavity. I thought this was odd and deduced that maybe, whilst the car had been left relatively dormant (my parent had taken it out a bit to keep it in shape) the wasps must have sought refuge from the elements there.

I said this was more than an annoyance (I remember) and it crossed that line today (day two of wasp car). I had generously offered to take my youngest brother (Chris) to his swimming lesson and do a couple of other errands in town. Saturday afternoon in Ipswich was always going to be busy and we were suitably braced to deal with it. Sat in the car, other vehicles stretching out in front of us as far as the eye could see. We edged, we edged a little more, we edge forward in this fashion for about ten minutes. Nothing new here. But wait! There is more to this story. A massive wasp emerges from the air conditioning and (I am a bit embarrassed about this) startles me quite a-bloody-lot. We edge into the smart car in front of us at 2mph (perhaps 3mph, its academic, we weren't moving fast) doing virtually no damage to my car, but cracking the fibre glass rear of the smart car. Suitably apologetic and genial I have begun to attempt to abate this, very understanding, woman. Of course money will change hands (probably my dads) and that's what upsets me so deeply. That wasp (and my own girlish reactions) could cost hundreds of pounds.

Well that is it. Yet another deviation from my premise, but a story I felt the world should know. So buckle up, look straight ahead and watch out for wasps.